英语短篇笑话爆笑

英语短篇笑话大全爆笑

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英语短篇笑话大全爆笑一：Johnny is busy now

It was half-past eight in the morning. The telephone rang and Mary went to answer it.

'Hello, who's that?' she asked.

'It's me--Peter.'

Peter was a friend of Mary's eight-year-old brother, Johnny.

'Oh, hello, Peter. What do you want?' said Mary.

'Can I speak to Johnny?'

'No,' said Mary, 'you can't speak to him now. He is busy. He is getting ready for school. He is eating his breakfast. Grandmother is combing his hair. Sister is under the table, putting his shoes on. Mother is getting his books and putting them in his school bag. Goodbye, I'vegot to go now. I have to hold the door open. The school bus is coming.'

英语短篇笑话大全爆笑二：Labor Pills

Once a woman was in labor; she was having a really tough time dealing with the pain. The doctor came to her husband and her and told them of a new experimental drug that allows the woman to transfer 25% of the pain to the father. The husband feels really bad for his wife so he decides they will try it.

The wife takes the pill and a few minutes later the husband says, "I don't feel a thing. You women are babies. Take another pill I can handle this." So the wife takes another pill. Same thing happens. Her husband tells her to take another pill. Same thing. By now she has transferred 75% of her pain to her husband. She is feeling a little pain but her husband is still feeling nothing. He is convinced that women are complete wuses. He tells her, "Take another pill. This isn't hurting me at all. Let me take all the pain away." So she does. Now they are both feeling great.

A few hours later, the wife gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. The next day they take their newborn son home, and there they find the mailman dead on the doorstep.

英语短篇笑话大全爆笑三：Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒?

汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。

父亲：啊，不对，你知道!想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课?

汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。

英语短篇笑话大全爆笑四：Whose father was the stronger

谁的爸爸更强壮

Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger.

Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."

Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!"

维尔和比尔在争吵，谁的爸爸是更强壮的一个。维尔说：“你知道太平洋吗?　那个坑是我爸爸挖的。”

比尔不屑地说：“那没什么。你知道死海吗? 那是我爸爸打死的。”